Ok, so do you remember a few months back when I told you all about the magical non-soccer travel-tournament weekend we had over Memorial Day? And do you remember how excited we were that this gift fell into our laps and allowed us to take a quick impromptu trip over Memorial Day weekend? And do you remember me telling you how lucky we felt?
Well I have one word for you: Karma
You see, several months ago we were invited to celebrate my cousin Scott’s wedding in Newport, Rhode Island the weekend of August 18th. We were so excited, not just for Scott but for us…I mean, who doesn’t want to go to Newport in August? What an awesome family trip to wrap up the summer before we have to head back to school for our pre-Labor Day start.
Then the Fall pre-season travel soccer tournaments were announced…
Yup, Ally’s first tournament was scheduled for Aug. 18-20. While we really wanted to go to the wedding, there was no way that we could skip the first tournament on her new team. This is her first year playing on a full length field, 11 players a side. So, once again, we put what we wanted to do on the back burner and focused on our kids. Instead of having cocktails near the ocean, we’ll be sitting in those stupid soccer parent chairs in what I am sure will be 99 degree weather (but no, I am not bitter.)
Sure we could be drinking madras cocktails and eating lobster rolls, but isn’t it more fun to watch your pre-teen play goalie for 4 or 5 games???
Once we made the decision and begrudgingly sent in our regrets about the wedding, we convened a family meeting to debate candidates for our new summer Malara family trip. As you can expect, the conversation was very similar to the DNC discussing who their 2020 nominee will be: lots of choices, all had positives and negatives, all played to various strongholds and no one candidate was favored by everyone. After approximately 38 ballots, the Tammany Hall machine kicked into gear and came up with the compromise candidate to bring all sides together:
Las Vegas.
It had sun, it had fun, it had sight-seeing options, it had great restaurants, it had pools, and, most importantly, it had wifi. After some intense lobbying, the nominee was accepted by acclimation and it was official…the Malaras were headed to Vegas…
Vegas baby, Vegas
(By the way, if I had to make a top 10 list of movies I cannot wait to watch and discuss with my children, Swingers would definitely be on this list…and if I were making separate lists for each children, it might be a top 5 movie for Cooper. The NHL 95 scenes alone warrant it a spot in the top 10.)
God I would kill to play Goofy
Monday
Very early on Monday morning the Malaras headed to the airport and hopped on a non-stop flight to sin city (why do I feel like every time I write about us taking planes anywhere in this blog it involves us leaving the house pre-dawn? Our neighbors must think we are spies.) You know, it’s amazing how fast a 4 hour flight goes by when you sleep for 3 and a half hours of it (that was me, not the children. They slept for maybe 20 minutes). Before we knew it, the plane had landed and we were getting ready to kick off another family fun trip.
I will say this for the Las Vegas airport, it has the power to do something I didn’t think could be done anymore…it made my children speechless. Ally was amazed by the stores and the lights and all of the people, while I think Cooper thought he was dropped in to the middle of a video game. People were sitting in the airport playing these huge video games. This was the greatest thing ever.
That was until we got to the hotel (we are staying at the Venetian). Their minds were completely blown away as we tried to explain to them what all of these people were doing at 11 am. It was crazy and they both were totally in awe of the spectacle.
Then we saw the Sportsbook
So, while I didn’t make the kids watch Swingers before the trip, I did spend some time talking to Coop about the Sportsbook, because well, that’s something a Dad should do. But, as in life, there is only so much you can learn by listening, you really have to experience it first hand. So, after a few minutes of walking around, I grabbed Coop and took him to the book (well, outside of the book).
I thought he might have a stroke…70 foot TVs playing sports while people sat in these chairs, and ate food and watched. At one point, I looked over and Coop was examining the board listing the Major League World Series odds. “Hey Dad, the Yankees are 12 to 1 to win the World Series.” I’m not going to lie, I got a little choked up.
Later in the day, as we were walking around perusing the ridiculous shops, Ally and Beth found a store that sold 1000 different kinds of bath bombs (while I think bath bombs are a tad bit ridiculous, it is brilliant to have her use them somewhere that is not in our home) As she picked out her favorite flavors, I looked around for Cooper and found him sitting on a bench studying the odds sheets I had picked up for him in the Sportsbook. When I walked over to him, he had a confused look on his face that started this conversation:
Me: What’s up buddy? You look confused?
Coop: Dad, how come the Steelers are 12 to 1 favorites to win the Superbowl but the Raiders are 9 to 1 favorites? That’s crazy!
Me: (starting to think this was a very bad idea and feeling a tad bit like the doctor watching his well-intentioned experiment break out and cause havoc and destruction everywhere): Come on pal, let’s find Ally and Mom.
Coop (utterly disgusted): And no way the Giants are 11 to 1 favorites to win the Superbowl…
Me (silently making a note to change the PIN on our checking account): Hey look, there they are.
Coop: And what does parlay mean? And what about ATS?
Me (writing down the number to GA for my soon to be 10-year-old): There they are…
It will help him in school…as long as the word problems are “Jimmy likes the Cardinals on the road and wants to tease it with a 4 o’clock game”
After some relaxing and cleaning up, the family was off to dinner at Il Mulino (best restaurant ever) located over at Caesar Forum Shoppes. Because we were over by Caesars, there were obviously lots and lots of statues. The kids thought they were pretty cool, until they realized that most of the statues were bare ass naked. This freaked them out…like really freaked them out. It was like walking down the strip with miniature John Ashcrofts. They were outraged and literally sprinted past the statues as fast as they could.
(Oddly enough, when Ally spotted several ads in Victoria Secret featuring nude women she had no problem with that…she thought that was hilarious, especially when she tried to show Cooper them. Fortunately, puritanical Polly would have none of that!)
And, just as we were reaching our hotel, I heard Cooper go, “OOOH. Dad, can I have one of those smoothies??” Before I could yell at him that we had just had a huge dinner and did not need a smoothie to cap off the evening, I noticed we were actually walking by a Fat Tuesdays…and I believe the purple smoothie he was asking for was their famous “Pimp Juice.” Vegas baby
Seriously, they couldn’t have come up with a better name than Mangoberry?
Tuesday we head to the Red Rocks Canyon for a tour, followed up by some more excursions around the hotels before heading back for dinner. B and I might even go out after dinner for a cocktail by ourselves and leave the kids up in the room.
As long as Ally can keep Cooper from heading down to the book.
I wonder if he has figured out yet that he can call in his bets from the room?
Pink and Green Whale Tales 